What a fucking waste of an outfit
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
tonight lets celebrate not being married
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
