so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
