nut hugger
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
two words...techno handjob
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Less talking, more tequila
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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