He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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