You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
