you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
