and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
