He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I think my moral compass just broke
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
