He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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