My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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