We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
