I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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