i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
