hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
