I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just forgot I was standing up.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
