we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
