This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Liz is crying about burritos again.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
