nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
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