We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
