shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
