I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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