I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
