People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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