I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
