Tell her she can't have a vagina
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
