Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
