You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Acid is not a monday night drug
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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