Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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