doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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