You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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