a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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