My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
