On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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