obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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