Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
