I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
