pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
