We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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