We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
