I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm too high and old for this...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
