YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
