I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
