I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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