areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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