ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize