He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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