Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
