We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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