I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
