"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
