I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
